December 2002

Vol. 1, Issue 4

The Weekly Times

Oshkosh, WI

Sept. 1, 1894

A "MADL" Husband

The only "Mike" from the sixth again in durance vile.

Mike Madl's box, 353, corner Sixth and Ohio Streets, was pulled shortly after one o'clock, Tuesday afternoon, Officer Wenzel officiating at the lever, while Mr. Madl enjoyed himself demoralizing all demoralizable furniture at his domicile in the land of the Highholder. When the officers arrived at the scene of destruction Michael had by a most artistic presto change caused his corpulent carcass to vanish, and a search was instituted.

A careless meander thru the disordered home discovered not the location of the bibulous Michael, and a more particular investigation followed. There was no evidence of any mechanical device or delusive arrangement by which the Sixth ward Keller might have accomplished the vanishing act, but that he was somewhere in the structure was a foregone conclusion. The dark closets were found to be empty, and Mike was not behind a door, his favorite retreat on such occasions, and the cellar had nothing to give up. 

After a long search it was thought that the officers would return empty handed, and a consultation was held, at which the blue coats recalled the story blazoned on their youthful minds by the long ago engineers of their education-"Try Again". Accordingly each one started out, peeking here and there. Officer McCusker's suspicions prompted him to look beneath a bed, though it would seem that the 200 pounds of avoirdupois sought for could not be forced into a space of so short perpendicular. There was little light in the room, and the officer struck a match, the radiance of which was flashed into the retreat. The search light illuminated the prostrate form of Mr. Madl, who feigned to sleep. 

"Come out of there, Mike;" but Mike was deaf to the command. Officers McCusker and Kant then proceeded to remove the bed, and Mike gave up the ghost. 

Bidding his wife and children a pathetic good bye, with a declaration that he would never return, he stepped into the wagon and was driven away, while in pantomime he expressed his intention of cutting his throat. This however, was not followed by the dramatic scene that might have been expected. 

Madl evidently had too much furniture, as the yard was strewn with broken tables, and so forth. Windows were smashed, and everything evidenced the visit of an imitation cyclone.

This is one of Mike's semi-monthly house cleaning exploits, though in effect it is considerably more damaging than usual. 

Contact: Peter Kinderman
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